Saturday, November 10, 2012

CosQ, Chapter Two: Oh God, That's Creepy

Alright, here we have chapter two! We'll get to meet some of the Committee members, and learn something strange about auditor Lauren Barr.



In the last eight days, and Dr. Taryn Mais had met and talked to the majority of those who belonged to the Committee. There was of course Lauren Barr himself, an auditor, and one of the most senior Committee members. She had learned how he had been very proud of his longevity in the Committee.

“You see this?” he had said one day while the two were eating dinner, joined by Shirley and Declan in the first basement. He tossed his wallet across the table, causing it to slide and rotate slightly, stopping directly in front of Taryn, in such a way so that it faced her perfectly.

Putting her fork down, Taryn leaned forward. “You're ID? What about it?”

Lauren smiled, “No you gotta read it.”

Shirley gave a sigh, “Oh, not this again.” looking at Declan, “Mr. Oldtimer is showing off again.”

“Oh,” Declan said, while munching on his salad, “It doesn't bother anyone. Let him do what he wants.”

“Thank you Declan.” Lauren said with a polite nod, before turning his attention to Taryn, “Go on. Read it.”

“Umm, what am I looking for?” the rookie said picking up the wallet and looking at the ID card. All members of the Committee are given a lamented identification card, although as Lauren had jokingly pointed out when Taryn received hers, it was just for show.

“Read it.” Lauren said with a smug smile.

“Umm... you weigh that much?” she said looking up with a bit of a laugh.

“Actually yes. But that's besides the point.” Lauren said with a dismissive tone.

“It's the lo-” Shirley was saying in annoyance, causing Lauren to put his hand up to her and shush her loudly “Shhh, let's see how perceptive she is. If she can see what's different.”

“Okay, so something's different?” the rookie asked, “Is it wrong?”

Shirley sighed causing Declan to laugh, “Don't mind her, she's still sore she didn't notice it.”

Several seconds past in mostly silence, save the occasional crunch from the other three eating, as Taryn looked at the identification card, rereading each and every bit of information.

“I, I really don't see anything wrong.” she said at last tossing the wallet back at Lauren. It landed face down and open, closer towards Declan than to it's owner. Lauren didn't seem to have a comment.

“It doesn't say,” Declan said turning the wallet over, “Committee of Special Questions.”

Taryn leaned forward shaking her head, “No it does. It says it right – ohhh...”

The identification's logo, a round circle with what appeared to be an octopus had words printed around it. Indeed it did not read the same as hers, but instead read “Special Committee of Questions.”

“Why's it say that?” she asked.

Lauren had already popped a dumpling into his mouth, and was unable to answer right away causing Declan to, “They changed the name nine months ago. Apparently some people,” he said casting a sour look towards Shirley, “Felt that the word special carried a poor connotation.”

As Taryn knew, Shirley had quite a few things against multiple groups of people. When she was to meet Shirley for the first time, Declan had warned her to be careful. “She's quite the racist.” he had told her, much to Taryn's concern. Although as Taryn would learn, it wasn't skin tone that Shirley judged someone by. It was the the degree of roundness to one's eyes.

“That's it!” Shirley had said, rather loudly just to ensure everyone in the office could hear, the day she and Taryn met, “I'm never taking a bus again! There was this freakin' Chinese family, and all I heard was ching chong ding dong! And they weren't even tourists, I bet they weren't tourists! I bet they live here, probably in freakin' China Town, and won't even bother learning the freakin' language!”

Things only got worse from there. Especially when Lauren had pointed out that the United States had no official language, despite what people think. This would of course snowball into a number of topics as the two argued to seemingly no end, spilling into unrelated topics ranging from any political topic to another. Taryn made a mental note not to discuss most anything with Shirley, but was quick to note how Lauren and Declan would often team up in the debates, even when they were clearly on opposite sides of the debate until Shirley got involved.

Declan Polis, another auditor, on the other hand was easier company for Taryn. He seemingly had no opinions strong enough to bring up, simply out of boredom. He kept to himself, often reading books and only joining in debates if asked to participate in some way. The man was always polite, at least to her and Lauren, and the other members of the Committee whom Taryn had met in short bursts. The one person whom he seemed to have a dislike for was Shirley. This was the fifth day that Taryn had been working with these three, and each day Lauren would quickly suggest ordering Chinese takeout or Sushi, seemingly just to annoy Shirley. The end result would almost always see the group ordering from two places, while Shirley often complained about the smell, which she was just about to do.

“I don't know how you could like that stuff,” she said as she dipped yet another french fry in her ketchup, “It stinks to high heaven. It's making me sick.”

“Well,” Lauren said with a grin, “You could always go and eat in the lobby.”

This was common, as Taryn had learned. Shirley would complain about the scent of the “chink's food” and Lauren would tell her she could eat in the lobby. Lauren almost seemed to do everything he could to get rid of Shirley, without straight up insulting her.

“I like it.” Declan said, although he had decided to order from the nearby Greek diner as Shirley had. He reached over and stuck a fork into one of Lauren's dumplings and put it on his plate, cutting it in half as he continued, “It's better than that Mexican place you like. All I smell is vinegar. Do they even use any vinegar? It just always smells like Vinegar.”

Taryn was a bit surprised to see Declan actually stepping into the conversation strongly. His tone was sturdy and confrontational, not the usual kind soft spoken way he often spoke. His eyes fixed on Shirley who curled her lip into a sneer.

“Fine whatever. I just won't speak then. Can't even open my mouth …”

“No, you can open your mouth,” Declan said, “You can even speak when doing it. Just have a little consideration. All you do is throw out insults and complain. Just once I would like to eat dinner without having to reminded about how you don't like Chinese food. Come to think of it, no offense or anything, but all you do is complain. How about this, if you don't like something, and you've already gone on about it, just let it go. You're going to give yourself a stress attack.”

“Thank you.” Lauren said with a smug look.

“No,” Declan said turning to Lauren now, “Don't. Don't thank me. You don't always have to have the last word, and you don't always have to antagonize her. I know you two don't like each other, but while we're on duty, it would be nice, just once, if you two could just be civil.”

“I was being civil. I said thank you didn't I?” Lauren said with a smirk, “It's not like I jumped up on my seat, pointed my finger at her and going ha-ha, ha-ha, you're a big idiot. Am I? No. Course I'm not. That wouldn't be civil.”

Taryn couldn't help but give a simple and slight laugh, though she wasn't really sure why she had done so. A glare from Shirley later, and Taryn instantly felt guilty about it.

“Okay, if that's how it is. Ha-ha, ha-ha? Fine. I'll go eat in the lobby!” And with that, Shirley snatched up her food, and when attempting to grab her drink lost her balance and dropped the orange soda all over the floor. “See!” she yelled, “See what you made me do?! I can't even have a descent meal in this – you know what? Fine. Fine!” throwing her hands up, causing the semi-closed container of fries and the half eaten cheeseburger to go, likewise, flying through the air and splat against the floor, “I just won't ever eat again! Just to keep you three happy, I'll starve!”

Lauren let out a sigh, almost sounding amused as Shirley stormed out. “The sad thing? I'm sick of Chinese actually. Almost every day for two weeks.”

Declan looked over to his fellow auditor in annoyance, “Then why the hell do you keep ordering it?”

Lauren, “I had a bet with Kimbles saying I could get her to eat in the Lobby in three weeks or less.”

Taryn remained quiet and feeling a tad guilty as Declan asked, “Just out of curiosity, when did you make this bet?”

Lauren took a sip of his Cel-Ray soda, and shrugged, “Three weeks ago today.”

“So you lost?” Taryn piped in.

“Yep.” Lauren said with a laugh, “But this was more fun anyway.”

A moment of silence passed before Lauren turned to Declan, “So, did you hear the news about Teivel?”

Declan nodded, his thin glasses almost slipped off his nose before he quickly adjusted them with a finger, “Yeah, didn't believe it at first. The meds were working. I actually thought he'd pull through. At least he went peacefully. That's something.”

“Yeah. That sucks.” Lauren commented, as if he was disappointed.

“You're still mad at him? The man's dead and you're going to carry a grudge?” Declan inquired.

“Of course I am. The bastard nearly got me killed.” Lauren snapped.

“Is he the one,” Taryn piped in, partially to stop what she saw as an incoming argument, “Who shot at you, or the one who tried to light a match in a room full of gas?”

“Oh, no, Kimbles was the one who tried to shoot me, and Charles tried to light the match. Teivil did worse. Much worse.” Lauren answered in annoyance. It apparently bothered him enough to put the dumpling he had raised to his mouth back into the takeout container, and push it as well as his chopsticks away. His face was the most sour Taryn had ever seen.

Lauren looked at Declan who gave a sigh, “He left Lauren alone at a stakeout.”

“Oh,” Taryn said, “Is that it?”

Lauren looked at his fellow auditor with a surprised look, “Did she, no really, did she just ask me if that was it?!”

“What?” Taryn gave a dismissive expression herself now, “It's not like anything happens on those things. Even Shirley says it's the most boring type of job.”

Lauren paused and blinked, “You can't be serious? Not as if anything happens? That's crap. Pure crap. You're crap. I give up on her!” Turning his attention to Declan, “She's yours. I, I can't. I just can't.”

Declan shook his head, “Oh, don't you start overreacting now.”

Lauren pursed his lips to the side, “Fine. I won't.” He turned to Taryn with a smile, “You're mine again. Welcome back.”

The wide smile was somehow infectious, and the other two found themselves smiling as well. Taryn's lasted the shortest however. She had grown accustomed to Lauren's strange attire and way of doing things. Even his strange way of speaking, such as using terms like 'ununiverse.' While he had always been inviting of her asking questions, and had actually encouraged her to ask questions when the two were alone during moments of prolonged silence, Taryn always felt like she was prying. Asking questions wasn't polite in her family, it was just how she was raised. Part of the reason she left home was the feeling of alienation with her family. There were many strange curiosities, but she always kept her thought to herself. But tonight she wouldn't.

“I gotta know,” she started looking up at Lauren, “What's with the gloves? You never take them off. Why?”

Declan was quick to speak before Lauren had a chance, “Please, not while I'm eating.”

Lauren tilted his head to face Declain, “The rate you eat? Ha, she'll never get the answer.”

“Well,” Declan answered with a bit of a smile, “Excuse me for chewing my food.”

“Chewing your foods one thing,” Lauren was quit to point out, “But you only gotta chew like what? Twenty three times?”

“Actually,” Declan responded in a polite tone, “It's thirty to fifty times, depending on your digestion.”

“Okay,” Lauren said with a chuckle, “Even so. Fifty times then. Biting down fifty times right? Good. I've counted.”

Declan interrupted right there, with a laugh, “Oh no you haven't.” A slight pause later he blinked and the smile faded, “Actually knowing you, you probably did.”

“I did.” Lauren confirmed, “It takes him,” turning his attention to Taryn, “Sixty seven bites a crouton. A crouton! They're not even that big! So anyway, the gloves-”

Again Declan was quick to interrupt, a firmer tone now “Not while I'm eating,” his voice softened and seemed to become pleading as he added in “Please? It's bad enough it's looking at me.”

“Looking at you?” Taryn asked with an amused, but confused expression.

“Fine, fine. I have to make my rounds anyway. What time is it?” the red headed auditor said, as he started to stand and looked up at the clock hanging at the wall, “Yeah, I gotta take out the garbage. C'mon rookie, I'll show you where the dumpster is. Hey Declan, you done with this? Well, put it in the freezer when you are. C'mon rook.”

Taryn stood and started to follow Lauren out of the basement, but stopped to point out the food that Shirley had dropped, as much as thrown, onto the floor. “Leave it,” he told her, “She wants to make a mess, she can clean it.”

“We'll get ants.” Declan said, but his fellow auditor had already made up his mind, and was not about to stop and change it.

As the two collected the refuse from the office, Laruen spoke with a giddy like manner. “I should warn you, don't bring up Teivel. It's sort of a sour point.”

“I'm sorry to hear he died.” she said with an apologetic tone. True she had never met the man, but he was a colleague of hers, by default at the least. And it had been obvious he worked with Lauren.

“Oh don't be,” he answered with a chuckle and a smile, “The bastard was a miserable little shit. I swear, he seemed find at first but my god could he bring down the mood. Way worse than that bigoted idiot. Shirley I mean.”

“Was he really that bad?” she inquired.

“Oh yeah. Horrible person. I'd go on and on about him, but really I probably shouldn't. It would be nothing but a negative stream of adult language after all.”

“Okay, when did I suddenly become a child?” the woman replied in mock annoyance.

“When we started talking about Teivel. That's when.” the auditor answered with a smirk, “But seriously, Clenshie'll say something nice. There'll probably be some meeting, tomorrow or the next day. Something a bit convenient. Everyone'll say something polite and nice. Most of it lies mind you. Hell, I'll probably be talked into saying how I miss the bastard. I'll be keeping the truth rather quieted then.”

“Wow, I guess you two really didn't get along.” Taryn said with some surprise. Granted Lauren had issues with some of the Committee members, Shirley in particular. But even then it was mostly harmless, very little direct insult.

“No. And you shouldn't ask about it. You'll just get started, and I won't stop.”

“That makes me want to ask some questions.” she said as she held the door to the alley open, as Lauren shuffled through with the garbage bags.

“Well then,” he told her, “Think of something else to ask then.”

“So,” Taryn said as the two walked to the back , where the dumpster they shared with the near by dinner across the alley was waiting for them, “What about the gloves?”

“Not yet.” the auditor said, tossing a heavy black bag into the dumpster, “Not out here. Gives people the willies.”

“What people?” Taryn laughed, “There's no one around!”

“Shh.” the auditor said, and had already started back towards the Committee's rented building, “For all you know there's some bum about to come round the corner, he'll see it and freak out.”

“It?” Taryn said, starting to feel a bit creeped out already.

“Inside.” the auditor repeated and held the door open for her. As he entered, closed and locked the door, Lauren started removing the glove of his right hand.

“You know how Clenshie's missing an eye?” he asked, to which Taryn nodded. “Well,” the auditor continued, pulling one glove finger at a time dramatically, “That's because he walked in on someone trying to perform, well, it's sort of an exchange. Some schmucks trying to rend forward an evil pre-entity. Anyway, tada!”

And with that he lifted his right hand, palm forward. Taryn grabbed at her own mouth quickly, hoping not to vomit as she turned away with a jolt. “Oh god!”

She could barely look at it. Just slightly left to the center of the man's palm sat a red streaked blood shot eyeball. Milky and hazy pupil sat amidst a ring of, what Lauren himself would describe as a 'moldy blue' in his own words. The flesh around the eye appeared to branch away from the orb with rigid roots buried underneath the skin, a pinkish pale spray that seemed to web outward. Like burn marks following the shocks of red in the eye, blood shot veins entrenched in the outer flesh. Worse of all, it was wiggling. For the short moment in which she saw it, it looked to be twitching.

“What the- what the hell is that?!”

“Well, like I was saying, Clenshie lost an eye and-” the auditor started to say but was cut off.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! That's Clenshaw's eye?! How the fuck does that happen?!” the woman screeched, all while trying to hold back her dinner.

“No, not at all. Don't be silly. Clenshie's got brown eyes, like me. This is blue. See?” he said holding his hand forward, causing Taryn to turn away sharply again, stumbling several steps away.

“No, stop. I don't want to see it! Oh god, just – just put it away! Put it away!”

“Yes you did, you asked about it. You wanted to see it.” the auditor argued.

“No, no! I wanted to know what was the deal with the gloves, I never asked if I could see the weird eye – oh, sorry, BLUE eye in the middle of your hand!”

“Well, that's kind of the same. I mean, if I said oh yeah, I wear gloves to hide the weird eyeball in my hand so people don't get squicked out, you either wouldn't believe me or you'd say something like, I don't know. Oh yeah? Let me see it then.”

“No I wouldn't!” Taryn spat back, literally spitting as she was still feeling as if she might hurl.

“Well, too late now. And trust me, that's not the worse thing you'll see here. I mean you should've seen Henson. That was bad. Actually, you probably should've have seen Henson,” the auditor was saying, his expression becoming apologetic as he rubbed the back of his head (with his left, eyeless, hand of course), “Poor sonofabitch. Guy's jaw became all twisted. Like sideways.”

“Enough!” Taryn said throwing her hands up and to the side, “I'm done! I don't want to hear it, I don't want to see it!”

The woman started to storm out leaving Lauren alone at the back door, who gave a shrug and a sigh. He knew it would get worse. It always would. “If you can't get used to a hand-eye,” he said, in a low voice more to himself, “You'll never last long.”

He turned his head downward, and tried to meet the sickly looking eye in his hand, eye to eye, but found it difficult giving it's strange twitching. “Don't worry Chaplin,” he said, “She'll come around. I'm really optimistic about this one. Now c'mon, let's get you back in your glove before you catch your death of cold.”

The remaining day was quiet. Taryn had and Shirley had clocked out and gone home, leaving the two auditors alone in the small building. Declan was wondering about the building's history, as he often did. He had researched it, in fact. Currently it housed the Committee, which dressed itself as a charity of sorts, though Lauren constantly stated they weren't lying about. It was small, and had once been a diner, like the neighboring building in the back. Before that it operated as a pharmaceutical. He wondered how much longer the Committee will be able to afford it. The Committee members usually worked out of each other's homes, or met at the library weekly, even monthly at times. Ever since Crenshaw became Inquirer, however, they've been renting the building. “Won't last long, you know.”

“Hmm?” Lauren said surprised by Declan's sudden voice, “What won't last long?”

“Us. We can't afford this. We really can't.” Declan continued, “It's been fun, but really? The rent on this place has to be incredible.”

“Ahh, don't worry about it.” Lauren said with a dismissive tone, “It's nothing to worry about. Crenshaw's got his ways.”

“So I've heard, but where does he get the money? He's talking about converting the back rooms, and turning part of the alley into a lot for four or so cars for us. There's no way he can do that. I mean, besides the cost, how's he going to get a permit?”

“You need a permit for that?” Lauren asked ignoring the other comments.

“I don't know. Probably.” Declan said looking back down at his book. He realized he had turned five pages now, all without paying attention to a single sentence.

“Well, I'm going to bed.” Lauren said with a yawn, while getting walking past his fellow auditor.

“You'll have to get a place of your own soon, you know. We won't have the building for much longer.” Declan commented, however when there was no answer he gave a sigh. “Goodnight Lauren.”

“Ganite.” Lauren replied.

“Good night Chaplin.” Declan said with a bit of humor.

Lauren pitched his voice higher and cartoonishly, “Goodnight Declan. I love you.”

“Oh god, that's creepy.” Declan said with a laugh.

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